Paleo Banana Bread

PREHEAT oven to 350

PUREE

  • 3 very ripe bananas
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1 t vanilla
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 cup almond butter

MIX

  • 1/2 cup coconut flour
  • 1/2 t baking soda
  • 1/2 t baking powder
  • 1 t cinnamon
  • 1/8 t salt
  • COMBINE

BAKE for 50 minutes in a loaf pan on top of a baking sheet

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Paleo Chocolate Ice Cream

 

  • The chilled cream skimmed off of 1 can of coconut milk
  • 1 cup heavy cream or whipping cream or half and half
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 T vanilla extract
  • 3 T cacao powder
  • 1 T maple syrup
  • dash of salt

In a stand mixer, mix the coconut milk, cream and egg yolks until super creamy…for like 3 minutes or so. Add in the rest of the ingredients and mix until everything is incorporated. It will look (and taste) a little like chocolate mouse. I used my ice cream maker for about 15 minutes and it was done, though it’s so rich and thick, you might just be able to freeze it without using an ice cream machine. Add raspberries or other mix-ins.

Cannabis Oil Made With Trim

 

STEP ONE

  • 1 lb fresh trim (I trim all season and keep it in the freezer in a Ziploc bag. When it’s packed full, it usually weighs about a pound.)
  • 1 cup vodka
  • 8 cups water

Boil water and vodka in a large pot. Add trim. Bring back to a boil for about 3-5 minutes, or until the trim looks like this:

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Strain and press all of the water out.

Chop the hell out of it in a food processor or by hand.

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STEP TWO

  • 2 cups melted coconut oil
  • 6 cups water
  • 1 t soy lecithin (optional)

Put the trim back into the pot and add oil, water, and lecithin. Make sure the water covers the trim. Bring up to medium heat and stir often. You don’t want it to boil, just up to a simmer. It should have the consistency of a very thick broccoli soup.

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Cover and cook on low, checking and stirring every 1/2 hour for at least 2 hours. (I keep mine on the burner pretty much all day.)

Strain out the plant material, squeezing out as much liquid as possible.

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Pour the remaining liquid into a large bowl and put it in the fridge.

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The oil will separate from the water when it’s cold, so you can easily remove it from the water.

 

 

Paleo Vegan Chocolate Almond Cookie Bars

 

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Yep.

So, I made these and they are really, really good.

That’s all I’ve got today because it’s Friday and school is out for the summer and it’s time for me to do something other than sit in front of a screen.

Who am I kidding? I’m going to hide from my kids in a cool room with a cold drink and watch Netflix documentaries for 2 months.

 

Recipe and instructions are pasted below, but the original recipe is here at FoodFaithFitness. (Except instead of using plain coconut oil, you could use some special cannabis coconut oil. Think of it as another layer of the cookie. Or think of it as the best idea you’ve had all year.)

The only things I did differently were double up on the dark chocolate (because, duh), and I didn’t add salt because the almonds were already salty. Next time I make it, I will definitely back off on the honey.

Ingredients

  • 1 Can Full-fat Coconut Milk (14oz) Do NOT use low fat
  • 1/2 Cup + 3 Tbsp Honey, divided (Agave or Maple Syrup for Vegan version)
  • 1/3 Cup Coconut oil, at room temperature (should be the consistency of softened butter)
  • 3/4 Cup Coconut flour, Sifted (66g) *
  • Pinch of salt
  • 2/3 Cup Almonds, finely chopped (87g)
  • 3/4 Cup Dark chocolate chips (dairy-free for vegan option)
  • 1/2 Cup Unsweetened coconut flakes

Instructions

  1. In a large pot, set over high heat, whisk together the can of coconut milk and 1/2 cup of Honey (or agave), reserving the remaining honey for later. Bring the mixture to a boil and boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Then, turn the heat down to medium and and simmer for 20 minutes, stirring frequently, until the sauce reduced by about half.
  2. Transfer the sauce to a large measuring cup to cool while you make the crust. Note: You should have about 1 1/4 cups of sauce left after cooking it.
  3. Once you’ve made the sauce, heat your oven to 350 degrees and line an 8×8 inch pan with parchment paper, spraying the sides generously with coconut oil spray. Note: It helps to spray the bottom of the pan before putting in the parchment paper, to secure it.
  4. In a large bowl, using an electric hand mixer, beat the remaining 3 Tbsp of honey with the coconut oil until smooth and creamy. Stir in the flour and pinch of salt until a wet dough forms.
  5. Press the dough evenly into the bottom of the pan. This will be a little bit tough, just be patient with it. I found it easiest to use the palms of my hands, and rinse them off every so often, until the dough was pressed in.
  6. Bake the crust just until lightly golden brown, about 7 mins. Note: this would be a good time to chop the nuts if you haven’t already)
  7. As soon as the crust comes out of the often, sprinkle the chopped nuts on top, and lightly press them into the crust. Then, sprinkle on the chocolate chips evenly, followed by the coconut flakes..
  8. Pour 1 Cup of the slightly cooled coconut milk mixture (you’ll have a little left over, but you don’t need to use it all for these bars) EVENLY over the top of the surface. Then, gently shake the pan around until the coconut milk mixture begins to sink between the layers.
  9. Place into the oven and bake until the sides are lightly golden brown, about 27-28 minutes.
  10. Remove from the oven and cool to room temperature. Then, cover with tinfoil and refrigerate overnight. **
  11. The next day, run a very sharp knife around the edge of the pan, slice into bars and DEVOUR

Notes

* The coconut flour I usually use needed 3/4 cup, but I also tried it with a different brand and 66g was only 1/2 cup + 1 Tbsp. So, PLEASE weigh your flour first before trying to make the crust.
** You NEED to let these sit overnight to make sure the coconut milk really has a chance to chill and thicken.

 

Cannabis Coconut Oil

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The way I sell using cannabis to myself is by being a bit of a science geek about it. 

I’ve been meaning to do this for a few months, but every time I sat down to write, I’d end writing a couple of lines and then something shiny would catch my eye. That something shiny was usually the TV remote.

Okay, it was always the remote. It was catching my eye because I was, not surprisingly, stoned. Couch lock: the struggle is real-ish.

I’m not a long time cannabis user. I tried smoking it three times: once when I was making a record, (I got paranoid and hungry, two things I don’t need more of in my life), once when I was on tour (I don’t even think I inhaled, or if I did, I felt nada), and once after surgery when my sister told me it was good for pain. (It gave me an asthma attack.) You know how they say “third time is a charm”? Nope! The third time kicked me in the metaphorical nut sack*, so I thought that was a pretty good sign that smoking was not going to fly with me.

Fast forward ten or so years later when I was diagnosed with two chronic, debilitating diseases and was looking for an alternative to opioids. I happen to live in a super cannabis friendly city in a cannabis friendly state where not only medical MJ is legal, but our first recreational pot shops recently opened. If you *have* to have cancer or arthritis, Washington state is a pretty rad place to live.

WHAT YOU NEED

  • 1/4 oz weed (flowers, preferably)
  • 1 cup coconut oil
  • 1/2 t soy lecithin

METHOD

  1. Preheat oven to 235 degrees.
  2. Course grind weed in food processor
  3. Put weed into pyrex or other oven safe baking dish
  4. Put dish on a sheet cake pan or cookie sheet
  5. Cover dish with a layer or foil and a snug fitting lid
  6. Bake at 235 for one hour
  7. Remove and let cool down until room temp or so
  8. Return to food processor and grind to very small pieces, not quite a powder
  9. Put weed back into baking dish
  10. sprinkle soy lecithin over the weed
  11. add melted coconut oil and stir
  12. return foil and lid to dish, dish to cookie sheet, and the whole thing back in the oven
  13. Turn oven down to 215 and let cook for 2 hours, stirring every 30 minutes or so
  14. Allow to cool
  15. Strain through cheesecloth
  16. Enjoy your baking and/or medicine making!

 

*Metaphorical Nut Sack is my new band name. Sorry, I already called it.

Super Easy Potato Leek Soup

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All photos and recipe copied courtesy of Simply Recipes

My 20 year old daughter is a vegan who also doesn’t eat gluten or onions. Gluten I can cook without. There are plenty of options. Meat is optional, too. BUT ONIONS? I cook with onions almost every day. So, when she comes over for family dinner, I always try to have something here for her to eat, and this soup is such a winner, I’ve started making it for the whole family. (With some bacon on the side.)

 

  • 3 large leeks
  • 2 Tbsp butter or your favorite vegetarian substitute
  • 4 cups chicken broth (or vegetable broth for vegetarian option)*
  • 2 lbs potatoes (Yukon gold or Russet), peeled, diced into 1/2 inch pieces
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt plus more to taste
  • Pinch of dried marjoram
  • 1 or 2 sprigs of fresh thyme, or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
  • Sprinkle of Tabasco sauce or other red chili sauce
  • White or black pepper to taste

Method

1 Clean the leeks. Cut them lengthwise, fan them open under running water to dislodge any dirt or mud hiding inside. Cut off the tough dark green tops and discard (either compost or freeze for making stock). Slice the white and light green parts of the leeks crosswise into 1/4-inch thick slices. (See How to Clean Leeks)

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2 Melt butter on medium heat in a 3 to 4 quart thick-bottomed pot. Add the chopped leeks, stir to coat with the butter. Cover the pot and lower the heat to low, cook for 10 minutes until the leeks are softened. Check to make sure the leeks are not browning.

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3 Add the broth, diced potatoes, bay leaf, marjoram, thyme, and a teaspoon of salt to the pot. Increase the heat to high to bring to a simmer, then lower the heat to maintain a low simmer, and cook for 20 minutes, until the potatoes are cooked through.

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4 Remove and discard the bay leaf and thyme sprig. Use an immersion blender or standing blender to blend about half of the soup if you want a chunky soup, or all of it if you would like your soup to be more smooth. Add the parsley, and cook a few minutes more. Add a few dashes of Tabasco to taste. Add freshly ground pepper and more salt to taste. (Potatoes soak up salt, so you may need to add more salt than you expect.)

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Mashed Potatoes

 

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Photo courtesy of Serious Eats. Because the last fucking thing I wanted to do on Thanksgiving was to take pictures of food. 

 

I know, you think you know mashed potatoes. So did I. Then I tried this recipe. I didn’t know mashed potatoes. Anyone can boil potatoes and mash them up. It’s the way you do it that’s important. You can read up on the science on the Serious Eats site, which is quickly becoming my go to site for recipes that don’t suck.

  • 4 lbs russet potatoes
  • 2 cups whole milk (or 1 cup milk and 1 cup half and half)
  • 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp, in 1/2 inch pats
  • salt and pepper to taste

PEEL potatoes and cut into rouch chunks, about 1-2 inches cubed.

TRANSFER to a bowl of cold water to rinse. Change the water two or three times until it runs clear.

BOIL 4 quarts of water to a boil in a large stockpot over high heat. Add potatoes and cook until tender, about 15 minutes.

DRAIN potatoes in colander and RINSE under hot running water for 30 seconds to wash away excess starch.

MASH the potatoes in a food mill over the empty pot.

ADD milk and butter and fold gently with a rubber spatula to combine.

SEASON to taste, and keep warm until ready to serve.